College Mythos

The arena is set, the crowd is restless and the warriors of this ravenous rumble are thrashing against the gates…seems like the movie ‘Gladiator’, no? But probably with more swearing. Yes. This is your life for the next 3 (or 4 for you Engg. Suckers!) years. Life at its most raw and you are bang in the middle of it. It’s called college. Flip through those high school pages one last time, the absent-minded doodles meshed against vulgarity driven pen art…the beginnings of comic book legends.

It isn’t hard to imagine a young nerdy Bob Kane (Ref: Batman), a pimple stricken Stan Lee (Ref: Spiderman, Daredevil) or scary teen Frank Miller (Ref: Sin City, 300) doodling away in the most outcast of manners, making their beginnings into a new age mythology in the back of trigonometry notebooks. Here you are, greasy palmed, nervous and excited at the gates of Val Halla Colleg-seum awaiting your own exciting adventures.

But be warned, here lurks greater evil than the Mandarin from Iron Man or the Green Goblin from Spiderman. There are Department Coordinators, Vice-Principals, Registrars, Principals and even rare evil eyed Peons to duck as you make your way through the labyrinths of your college years. There is good and evil here, yet there is no right or wrong, there is light and darkness here, yet all the light switches turn on only fans. The mystery of these transient hall ways is like the Minotaur’s Maze and you are Sinbad (or any other cooler superhero you can think of) just trying to make it past the ringing bell of the last period just to redo this Sisyphus task the next week, the next month, the next few years!!

As frightening as it may sound, it is not beyond hope or humor. ‘With great powers comes great responsibility,’ as Old Uncle Ben use to say and so does here with great peril comes great opportunity to kick some administrative backsides and have a damn good time doing it. Here are the basics of this new Comix Bux Redux of the Kollege Mythos that you need to be in on.

1) The Bad-guys: One wrong word or one slight misstep in the social hierarchy of administration or ‘friend’ circle and consider yourself Bulls-Eyed and this time there is no Daredevil to save you! Avoid any direct academic responsibility, ‘NO means NO’, even if it is to a Prof, you just need a good enough excuse to get out of schmuck work like copying notes or taking attendance, fortunately you’ll have a stock of those ready by the time your through with this site.

2) The Allies: This ain’t no Justice League. Loyalties switch with the flip of a coin (Two-Face anyone?). The trick is to be ambivalent and non-committal regardless of whom you’re talking to. The Profs want you to be toppers and your peers expect you to have a pair and rebel. But Holy Jumpin' Jacks Batman! Why not play to your strengths and network. There will always be someone down and out and what better time than to do a little rescuing yourself, who knows you might wrangle in a Maiden in distress or a Stud put out to graze ;-)

3) The Relationships: So what if Robin leaves batman to become Nightwing? So what if Superboy moves to a different city with questionable proclivities in his dating habits? So what if your strongest ally turns out to be an oozing alien calling himself Venom or Carnage? Relationships are important. Earn trust and have trust (but don’t be a dumbass about it). You’ll find the years here breeze thorough and what more, you might even long for coming back!

4) The Education: If you actually think you’ll get any of that done here…what the hell were you smoking?!! But in all seriousness…can I have a drag too??

So yeah, there’s not much to be said in terms of preparation. Each comic story is different and your powers are your own. But so long as you’ve got mischief in your head and a sarcastic tongue, no amount of Kryptonite (Ref: Studies, Profs, Aghhhh) can keep you down.

So, up, up and away! Whoa! Thud!